I Shoulda Known Better
Monday, July 3rd, 2006Last summer, I learned that I was not cut out for small group work as a graduate student.
This summer’s lesson is that I may not be cut out for co-teaching.
This is a bit awkward to write about, because the co-teacher in question is someone who knows about this blog, so it’s possible she will come across this entry and see herself described in these paragraphs.
But here’s the deal, as fairly and accurately as I can present the sequence of events.
Class is Monday nights, and this past Monday (26 June), I was on my own because my colleague was on a trip. Tuesday night at midnight, everyone had an email assignment due to us, just in time for my colleague’s return to Philly. She offered to take the first crack at responding to everyone (potentially a gesture of parity since I’d done all the in-class work that week?).
Well, she hasn’t done a thing. Nor has she responded to any of my phone messages (daily since Friday) trying to ascertain what’s up.
I’m trying not to get all ranting and furious at her. Waiting to see if there’s a truly good reason for her disappearance. I will say: if, when she finally resurfaces, there isn’t a truly good reason, I will be furious.
Meanwhile, I’m trying to send belated email repsonses that capture my suggestions and promise later feedback (that I am not sure will ever come) from my co-teacher. I’m feeling guilty for waiting on her for so damn long, cos it means we’ve given the students damn short shrift, and I must be unflinchingly honest in admitting that I didn’t need to wait so long, and my doing so was a symptom of my own exhausted avoidance, my not wanting to face another task after the June I’d had.*
And I’m planning the remaining 4 weeks of lectures as if I’m 100% on my own. If she steps up with some contributions that lessen my load, that will be a welcome and last-minute surprise. If not, well, at least I’ll be ready to run solo in a timely fashion, unlike my holiday round of playing catch-up….
* Which, in passing, explains why I did zero blogging over the weekend.